Wind-ups, stitch-ups and pissing taking
Where the F**k am i? Your only ever truly lost when it’s dark , Cold and pissing down with rain,
Hello Projection, life looking out of a dark room, even prisoners get a window
THE GENIE HORN We have a fork lift type device for moving the Imax films around, anyway it has a horn on it, so for a laugh i thought id tell one of the guys that we had a memo from head office saying that when using the genie the horn had to be pressed two hoots for forwards and 3 for backwards, well this went on for most of the week, on the Friday my Boss was down seeing me, and as we sat in the Imax Booth sure enough a Unnamed Projectionist comes along and starts moving films, and right on cue he starts honking the horn, well after about 30 mins my boss said to me why is he honking the horn?, god knows Ian i don’t have a clue, this went on all day, ever 45 mins or so you would he Beep Beep and then Beep Beep Beep as he was moving film around. In the end my boss went up to him and asked him why he was beeping the horn, I have not laughed so much in ages
JACK ANORY We had a driver who used to do most of the van jobs called Steve, this guy was such a bullshitter that he just left himself open for abuse, He hated us Riders with a real venomous passion , The job was always risky flying through the traffic so you tended never take shit off nobody, looking back 2 van drivers against 10 Despatch riders was no match as we used to wind them up big time, so to get at him even more we told him we had a new rider called Jack Anory, i kid you not, he was so full of shit he once tried to tell us he had been pulled for speeding doing 45 in a 30 mile zone by a policeman on a horse, so you can see where im coming from, well it went on for 3 years and i bet to this date he still believes there was rider called Jack Anory, He would come into the office and we would say you have just missed Jack, i mean how dumb can you be, but he fell for it, everyone was in on it, and no matter what time of day, or day of the week when ever when he walked in he would get “You have just missed Jack”, i will say that at every opportunity we would rip his wing mirrors off, he must have spent most of his wages on new wing mirrors what a tool.
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